It’s that time of the year again! The Oscars will be happening this Sunday on March 2.
For the most part, I don’t care about the OScars, but tying to predict the winners is always fun. Unfortunately, I tend to get sucked into a maelstrom of anger when my choices don’t take home the gold.
I’ve compiled the top categories below. This year I have decided to do it a little differently. As usual, I predict my overall winner. However, to make things more interesting I have also included my “upset winner” and “wtf winner”. The latter really relates to the Academy’s tendency to, sometimes, go against the grain and pick a totally unexpected winner. That doesn’t mean it’s not deserved, but rather that I didn’t see it coming. Though in Jonah Hill’s case it is totally fucking undeserved!
Without further ado, here are your winners:
Christian Bale (American Hustle)
Bruce Dern (Nebraska)
Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street)
Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave)
Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)
Winner: Matthew McConaughey Upset:Leonardo DiCaprio WTF: Chiwetel Ejiofor
Nothing can stop the veteran of our beloved Rom-Coms. Leo might take it for his body of work, since he hasn’t won in forever. Chiwetel Ejiofor is a distant third, but the movie and his acting has been praised. Plus it’s based on a true story and the Academy has a hard-on for those.
Amy Adams (American Hustle)
Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)
Sandra Bullock (Gravity)
Judi Dench (Philomena)
Meryl Streep (August: Osage County)
Winner: Cate Blanchett Upset: Amy Adams WTF: Judi Dench
I went with Cate Blanchett because Meryll Streep has too many awards, but she was amazing in Osage County. Amy Adams for the upset because she chose not wear bras in American Hustle. Judi Dench because she has way too many nominations, she can’t see or walk anymore and has a lot of praise for her role in Philomena. This is a tough one.
Best Supporting Actor
Barkhad Abdi (Captain Phillips)
Bradley Cooper (American Hustle)
Michael Fassbender (12 Years a Slave)
Jonah Hill (The Wolf of Wall Street)
Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club
Winner: Jared Leto Upset: Michael Fassbender WTF: Jonah Hill
Jared Leto will walkaway with this while looking all pretty. Any rockers ever won an acting Oscar? Fassbender did a masterful job and was downright evil, but there is no contest with Leto. Jonah Hill….just don’t do it Oscars. Please just don’t even think about it.
Best Supporting Actress
Sally Hawkins (Blue Jasmine)
Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle)
Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave)
Julia Roberts (August: Osage County)
June Squibb (Nebraska)
Winner: Jennifer Lawrence Upset: Lupita Nyong’o WTF:June Squibb
Jennifer Lawrence is the darling of the awards. She could come in a trucker cap, ripped jeans while smoking a doobie and it would be the next “in” thing. But I think it’s too obvious. Newcomer (?) Lupita Nyong’o has a lot of love going into this and is my favorite to win. June Squibb might sneak in a winner for her body of work.
American Hustle (David O. Russell)
Gravity (Alfonso Cuarón)
Nebraska (Alexander Payne)
12 Years a Slave (Steve McQueen)
The Wolf of Wall Street (Martin Scorsese)
Winner: Alfonso Cuaron Upset: Steve Mcqueen WTF: David O Russell
I hate to admit it but Alfonso Cuaron will likely win this. He doesn’t deserve it for such a shit film. My money is really on Steve McQueen to take this and it would rectify the Academy’s mistake with Argo and Affleck last year. There really is no WTF here, but I put in a name for heck of it.
Dallas Buyers Club
12 Years a Slave
The Wolf of Wall Street
Winner: 12 Years a Slave Upset: Gravity WTF:Philomena
I swear I will lose my shit if Gravity wins! This better go to 12 Years a Slave. I would love to see Philomena win, but I don’t think it will happen.
There you have it. Sound off in the comments below and let me know your choices 🙂